BEC商务英语初级写作范例及专家点评

　　网友作文三：

　　Dear all:

　　The file system will shtudown [1]due to system maintainance next Friday.

　　It will take a full day to finish this job.[2]

　　Please do not acccess the [3]file server that day and backup your files one it[4].

　　专家修改意见：

　　[1]够干练了，语法错误多。 Be shut down

　　[2]去掉

　　[3]Access to

　　[4]On it?

　　网友作文四：

　　From: office Manager

　　To: all staff

　　Subject: upgarde of computer system

　　As our computer system need to be upgraded, we have arranged the contarctors to upgrade the them [1]on Wedesday. On that day all computers should be shutted down for a full day, so you need arrange some alternative work for that day.

　　专家修改意见：

　　[1]第一: 不要重复使用前面已经用过的词;第二：指代错误，前面说的system 是单数，怎么到这里变成了them? 合成一句：as we have arranged the contractor to upgrade our computer system.