BEC商务写作教程(2)

　　BEC：剑桥商务英语证书的简称，是英国剑桥大学考试委员会专门为非英语母语国家的人员进行国际商务活动的需要而设计的。对成绩及格者提供由英国剑桥大学考试委员会颁发的标准统一的成绩证书。证书效用BEC在英国、英联邦国家及欧洲大多数国家，获得工商界的普遍认可，并得到国内数百家外资企业的认可，有"外企绿卡"的美誉。

　　今天我们来继续学习怎样起草和修改信件。

　　Drafting: How To Do It

　　LETTER TO MR PERRY: DRAFTING

　　Now that you know what drafting is all about, you can draft the letter to Mr Perry.

　　To do this, you need to have your plan with you so you can write according to your plan. You also need a pen and paper.

　　Remember the two strategies when you draft:

　　Keep writing

　　Don't edit.

　　LETTER TO MR PERRY

　　Use the information on this screen to draft a letter.

　　Situation:

　　Our customer, Mr Robert Perry, deposited a cheque through 'Quick Deposit' into his Premier account. Unfortunately, the name on the cheque (the bearer's name) was not exactly the same as the name on the account. The name on the cheque was Mr Robert Pery (not Perry). As a result, the money was not credited to Mr Perry's account.

　　Solution:

　　Mr Perry needs to ask the drawer to write another cheque, making sure the name is exactly the same as on the account card. Then, the money can be deposited into this account.

　　Account Details:

　　Name: Mr Perry

　　Address: Flat 3A, Bayshore Tower, Mary's Point, Vancouver

　　Account No.: 613 556556 888

　　Cheque No.: 60263

　　Payee Name: Mr R Pery

　　Name on Account Record: Mr R Perry

　　When you finish, write "First Draft" on the top margin of your letter. You'll work on the draft later in this chapter and also in Chapters 4-6 and 8.

　　Revising: Why Do It

　　You've now completed your draft, and you're ready to move on to the next stage of the Writing Process: Revise.

　　Why do you think revising is important?

　　Revising your writing transforms your unfinished draft into an effective letter that gets results.

　　In fact, revising is so important that you often need to revise your writing several times. This is the longest stage in the Writing Process.

　　To see why revising is important, look at the letter below. The writer has forgotten to revise it. As you read the letter, think about the three questions in the box on the right.

　　Dear Ms Green

　　PPS

　　I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date.

　　Thank you for your kind attention.

　　Yours sincerely

　　Clever Man

　　Clever Man

　　Manager

　　Smart Branch

　　Questions

　　What is the letter about

　　Not very clear - it could be about something (PPS?) that the writer has sent

　　What does the writer want Ms Green to do

　　Also not clear - Ms Green could only guess.

　　If you were Ms Green, what would you do after reading the letter

　　What is the letter about

　　Not very clear - it could be about something (PPS?) that the writer has sent

　　What does the writer want Ms Green to do

　　Also not clear - Ms Green could only guess.

　　If you were Ms Green, what would you do after reading the letter

　　You may need to call or write to the writer and ask for an explanation.

　　As you can see, the writer of the letter may need to send another letter to explain. That is, the letter does not get the intended results.

　　Revising: How To Do It

　　How can you revise your writing?

　　You've used strategies for all the other stages in the Writing Process. You also can use a strategy for revising.

　　The strategy you can use for revising is very easy to remember. It's based on the "5 Cs".

　　Strategy for Revising:

　　Complete

　　Cohesive

　　Clear

　　Concise

　　Courteous

　　In fact, to ensure that your letter gets results, you need to revise your letter 5 times. Each time you revise, you'll focus on one of the "5 Cs".

　　The strategy you can use to revise your writing is very systematic.

　　You start revising the whole document and then move on to smaller parts such as paragraphs and sentences.

　　Whole paragraph is complete.

　　Paragraphs are cohesive.

　　Sentences are concise, courteous and clear.

　　下一次，我们将继续讨论怎样将信件写得更完整。